With apologies to my wonderful reader Jay, I have to admit this has been the hardest of the four movies he sent me to write about. Perhaps it’s because Goodfellas was crammed with so much violence, foul language, and drug use, but for whatever reason, The Big Lebowski drained the last of my reserves and left me feeling hollow.

I can’t even bring myself to take one more look at that film to gather images for this article. So this will be my first pictureless Cinematic Chiasmus article, not because of some artistic reason, but because the film deserves no such honor. Let’s get on with this sordid affair.

The Chiasmus

Here is the summary that Jay sent me.

A. “Fella I wanna tell you about…” (Narrator begins the movie)
 B. The Dude @ Ralph’s
  C. Treehorn’s goons jump The Dude for money owed
   D. Donny rolls a strike
    E. Walter tells The Dude to see the Big Lebowski
     F. The Dude meets Bunny
      G. “Mark it zero!”
       H. Brandt calls The Dude for help
        I. Introduction of Jesus (and his arrest for being a sex offender)
         J. Maude’s goons knock out The Dude, followed by a dream sequence
          K. The Dude’s new rug goes missing
           L. Brandt gives The Dude the briefcase with ransom money
            M. Walter throws out the ringer
             N. Dude’s car gets stolen
              O. The Dude meets Maude who is painting
               P. Maude asks The Dude to recover the money
                Q. The Big Lebowski hands The Dude Bunny’s toe
                 R. “I can get you a toe”
                  S. The LAPD calls The Dude and tells him they found his car
                 R. Nihilists threaten to cut off The Dude’s “Johnson”
                Q. The Dude sees Maude who makes him see the Doctor
               P. The Dude recovers Larry Sellers’ homework
              O. Walter tells The Dude about Larry Sellers
             N. The Dude and Walter see “Larry’s car”
            M. Walter destroys the wrong car
           L. Treehorn’s goons return to grab The Dude
          K. Nude Girl bounces on a big blanket at a beach party
         J. Jackie Treehorn slips The Dude a “Mickey”, followed by a dream sequence
        I. The Dude is arrested
       H. Malibu Sheriff confronts The Dude
      G. “You don’t like my music, get your own f$#%ing cab!”
     F. Bunny returns
    E. Walter & The Dude go to see the Big Lebowski
   D. Donny rolls a spare
  C. Nihilists burn The Dude’s car for money owed
 B. “Is there a Ralph’s nearby?”
A. “That about wraps her up” (Narrator ends the movie)

I’ve done my best to make sense of this movie below.

A. Narrator

A narrator tells us about The Dude. And we see a tumbleweed going through Los Angeles. We’re told that The Dude is the man for his time and place. He’s lazy. The narrator loses his train of thought.

Walter eulogizes Donny. And he throws Donny’s ashes into the ocean. The Dude asks why Walter always brings up Vietnam. Walter asks him to go bowling. The narrator returns to wrap things up.

B. Ralph’s

The Dude goes to a grocery store called Ralph’s to buy some milk.

Walter and The Dude purchase an urn, and Walter asks if there’s a Ralph’s nearby.

C. Assault

The Dude gets assaulted in his house. The men demand money from him. They dunk his face in his toilet, and they pee on his rug. They leave after realizing their mistake.

The nihilists burn The Dude’s car outside the bowling alley. They demand money from him. Their sunk cost is that their leader’s girlfriend gave up her toe. They refuse to leave and get beat up.

D. Strike

Donny rolls a strike and says he’s throwing bricks tonight. He’s too busy to listen to The Dude’s story.

Donny almost gets a strike and looks disappointed. He doesn’t understand what The Dude and Walter are talking about.

E. The Big Lebowski

Walter encourages The Dude to go talk to the other Jeff Lebowski, known as the Big Lebowski.

Walter and The Dude go to see the Big Lebowski, against Walter’s wishes, and they humiliate him.

F. Secrets and Lies

The Dude goes to Jeff Lebowski’s beautiful house. He gets introduced to all of Lebowski’s achievements. Lebowski refuses to pay for The Dude’s rug. He gets offended when The Dude brings up the fact that his wife owes someone money. The Dude takes a rug anyway. He meets Lebowski’s wife Bunny.

The Dude goes home and sees that it’s destroyed. He talks about his achievements to Maude after sleeping with her. Maude notes that Lebowski doesn’t have any money. All of his money is tied up in a foundation. The Dude figures out Lebowski’s dirty secrets. He meets a private eye hired by Bunny’s parents to retrieve her.

G. Complaints

Walter complains that a competitor named Smokey stepped over the line while bowling, so he demands that The Dude change it to zero. Walter pulls out a gun and is willing to kill Smokey over it.

The Dude complains about the music in the cab he’s riding in, and he asks the driver to change it. The driver angrily refuses and pulls The Dude out of his cab, showing he’s willing to lose his fare over it.

H. In Trouble

Brandt at Mr. Lebowski’s office calls The Dude asking for his help with something. He calls again to clarify that it’s not about the rug. And The Dude gets several other calls letting him know that Walter could be in serious trouble for pulling out a gun. Lebowski asks what it takes to make a man. He cries over his wife. She’s being held ransom. Brandt asks The Dude to act as courier for the ransom money.

In the sheriff station, the Malibu Sheriff asks if The Dude has any real identification. The sheriff clarifies why The Dude is under arrest. Jackie Treehorn claimed that The Dude is in serious trouble for acting abusively and made to be pulled out of a party. The Dude says that Treehorn treats objects like women. The sheriff shows contempt for The Dude. He tells The Dude to get out of town. He then throws a mug at The Dude’s head and kicks him out.

I. Arrested

We get introduced to a bowler named Jesus Quintana, and we learn about his arrest for being a sex offender. The Dude is convinced that Bunny faked her own kidnapping.

The Dude gets introduced back into the real world and finds himself arrested after running in the middle of the road. The Dude is hallucinating in the back of a police car.

J. Dream

Maude’s men punch The Dude while he’s resting on the floor, and he has a dream about a flying carpet and a giant bowling ball.

Jackie Treehorn drugs The Dude’s drink while he’s sitting on a couch, and he has a dream about Maude, bowling, and giant scissors.

K. Something Missing

When The Dude wakes up in his home, he finds his new rug is missing.

When the Dude shows up at a beach, he finds a topless girl bouncing on a blanket.

L. Bunny Money

Brandt gives The Dude a briefcase filled with ransom money, and he tells her that Bunny’s life is in his hands.

Jackie Treehorn’s goons from the start of the film return to The Dude’s home to kidnap him, knowing who he is this time.

M. Mistaken

Walter hands The Dude the ringer, which is a bag with his dirty laundry. He plans to steal the ransom money. Walter throws the ringer out of the Dude’s car window instead of the money. They go bowling, and The Dude is worried about Bunny.

Walter destroys a car in front of Larry Sellers’ house, thinking it’s his. He planned to intimidate him into returning the money. The actual owner of the car comes out and destroys The Dude’s car windows. They get fast food, and Walter apologizes.

N. Car

The Dude, Walter, and Donny leave the bowling alley and realize that The Dude’s car has been stolen with the money in the trunk. The Dude reports his stolen car to the police. Maude Lebowski calls and leaves a message letting him know that she stole his rug.

The Dude, Walter, and Donny leave the theater and believe that Larry Sellers spent some of the money he stole from The Dude’s car. They see a new sports car in front of the kid’s house. They threaten him if he doesn’t return the money he stole.

O. Bizarre Art

The Dude goes to a building and meets Maude, who is painting in a very strange way. She tells him she took the rug back because it was a gift from her to her late mother.

The Dude attends a very strange dance performance. Walter tells The Dude about Larry Sellers, who lacks his father’s gift for writing.

P. Retrieval

Maude asks The Dude to recover the money he supposedly gave to the kidnappers out of his car.

The Dude discovers Larry Sellers’ homework stuffed in the front seat in his car.

Q. Two Conversations

The Dude rides in a limo back to his house and gets pushed into another limo. The Big Lebowski demands to know where his money is right now, and he shows The Dude Bunny’s toe.

The Dude talks with his friends at the bowling alley and then gets into a different conversation with The Stranger. Maude demands to see him immediately, and he goes to see a doctor.

R. Toe and More

Walter says that he can get The Dude a toe if he wants one. A waitress at the diner tells Walter to keep his voice down.

A group of nihilists threaten to come back the next day and cut off The Dude’s Johnson. The Dude goes to get his car, and a police officer loudly mocks his request to know if they have any leads on who did it.

S. Bath

While The Dude takes a bath, a police officer calls to tell him that they recovered his car.

The Dude briefly rejoices in the fact that his salvation seems to be nigh.

At Least It’s Over

Like The Big Lebowski itself, I have no words of wisdom to share at the end of this soul-crushing affair. Comedy is hard, and I usually respect people who make the attempt. This film was not made for me because I have never ingested illicit drugs, drank alcohol, or cursed like a sailor. The world this film showcases is gross, sad, and angry, but never funny. Every actor and actress in the film is lower in my eyes as a result of subjecting themselves to this kind of behavior. Sorry for the depressing tone of this article. I’ll write about something much more uplifting next week.

This is the Deja Reviewer bidding you farewell until we meet again.

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