I participated in an interesting thought experiment a while ago. I was asked to watch What About Bob? and count all of the times when someone acts or speaks negatively in it. I’m a pretty attentive guy, so this piqued my interest. Determined not to let any instance of negativity slip past my gaze, I started watching the movie.

I added to my count every time Bob Wiley cried out in mental anguish and whenever Dr. Leo Marvin lost his temper. I came up with a huge number. The person who gave me that challenge was impressed. She said that I had found more instances of negativity than anyone she had ever given that challenge to.

From Negative to Positive

To balance it out, she then asked me to watch the movie again and write down how many times someone acts or speaks positively. I must admit that this was a much more pleasant experience. I was amazed at how many times characters said “Thank you” to each other. Lines like that might seem superfluous, but they add up to a lot of gratitude and a feeling of joy emanating from this film. The contrast of focusing on positivity helped me see that dwelling on negative things isn’t a ton of fun. Happily, this experience served a useful purpose.

I found that there were more than twice as many positive moments in the movie as negative moments. The movie is overwhelmingly positive when looked at in that way. Sure, plenty of horrible things happen to Bob in the movie, like almost getting blown to pieces. But even when Dr. Marvin is explaining how much he wants to blow up Bob, he says it in such positive ways that it’s easy to understand Bob’s confusion.

What What About Bob? Is About

As it turns out, What About Bob? is all about untangling knots. We often get ourselves so worked up about small things that we become paralyzed by fear. We can either be like Bob and see scary situations as opportunities to grow in baby steps, or we can be like Dr. Marvin and see scary situations as disasters designed to destroy us.

No matter what situation we’re in, we can decide how we’re going to react. For example, we might be happily employed or struggling to find a job, married or single, healthy or sick, wealthy or poor. Whether things are going well or not, we could look at our life like I did at the start with What About Bob? and find more negativity than we ever thought possible. Or we could try looking with a fresh pair of eyes and find that there’s a lot more good happening than bad.

The Litmus Test

If we’re looking for the negative, we will find it in droves. Dr. Marvin couldn’t see his son overcoming his fear of diving and death. All he could see was Bob coming in and stealing his glory. Bob, on the other hand, didn’t understand how significant it was for Dr. Marvin’s wife and daughter to invite him to do things with them. But he expressed gratitude in a way that made them feel amply rewarded for taking a chance on him.

What About Bob? is a good litmus test for positivity and negativity. We can watch the same movie and have an uplifting or depressing experience, depending on what we pay attention to. Bob’s rise didn’t have to be at Dr. Marvin’s expense. They could have grown together.

Even when times are tough, I hope we’ll look for upbeat things to focus on. It’s okay to acknowledge pain and difficulties. But let’s also make sure to count our blessings, accentuate the positive, and never despair. As Bob wisely said, when we fail to make a good connection, “just hang up and try again.” Smart man.

This is the Deja Reviewer bidding you farewell until we meet again.

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