Something feels wrong. I love movies in general, but it’s been a long time since I cared about any movie in particular. I had been looking forward to Avengers: Infinity War long before it debuted back in April, and it didn’t disappoint. I saw it twice in theaters, and I loved it both times. But when it came out on Blu-ray, I didn’t buy it. That’s what really cemented this feeling of dread for me. How could I react so indifferently to a movie that met or exceeded all of my expectations and that I had wanted to see since the teaser at the end of The Avengers in 2012?

I also saw Mission: Impossible – Fallout a few weeks ago in the theater. It’s gotten near-universal critical praise, and so my expectations were high. Again, it didn’t disappoint. I was engaged the whole time, and I was impressed by all of the action sequences and plot twists. But now that I’ve seen it once, I have no desire to revisit it. I just feel a big zero when it comes to movies right now.

No, this is not some kind of rant about modern movies paling in comparison to old movies. I have a large collection of movies at home, and I haven’t felt any great desire to watch any of them, either. One of my brothers gave me his old copies of the eight Harry Potter movies more than a year ago, and I still haven’t finished watching them, even though I read and enjoyed all seven books years ago. I recently saw 1997’s Face/Off for the first time, and it didn’t do much for me. I liked the performances, and it had a lot of great scenes, but nothing wowed me. Even revisiting Terminator 2: Judgment Day fell flat for me, despite the fact that I think it’s a great film.

A few weeks ago, I got really sick, and I spent six days vomiting, feeling queasy, and being unable to eat much of anything. I lost a lot of weight, and since then nothing has tasted the same. I find myself getting hungry and craving something delicious to satisfy my hunger, but nothing really satisfies. Perhaps my tastes were affected by the illness or the lack of food for such a long period of time. That is what this dearth of desire to watch movies feels like. Nothing satisfies my hankering for quality entertainment the way it used to. New, old, and favorite films all feel wrong to me, and I know none of them have changed, so the problem must lie within me.

What’s wrong with me? I don’t have a good answer to this question yet, I’m sorry to say. This is something I am going to wrestle with for a while and see if I can find the solution. I still love sharing my movie reviews with awesome readers like you, and I feel just as creative and energetic about discussing films as ever. But the act of sitting down and watching a film has never been as tiresome as it is to me now. So odd.

This is the Deja Reviewer bidding you farewell until we meet again.