Honest people have a funny way of talking. I’ll explain more about that after we address 10 things you basically never hear an honest person say.

By the way, I’m not saying if you’ve said any of these things that you’re somehow a dishonest person. None of us are perfect. We all make mistakes. Some people are simply habitual liars to the point that they tell lies without thinking twice. Anyone who is honest will be able to recognize something is off about someone who claims not to be a liar, as is demonstrated by the following movie scenes.

1. I’m Not Gonna Lie to You

Run far away from the person who says, “I’m not gonna lie to you.” They’re either lying, or they’re about to say something outrageous. And even if it’s the latter, like in the case of this scene from Starsky and Hutch, the person uttering those words is not to be trusted in general. Someone who thinks of allaying your concerns by claiming they’re not about to lie to you in this moment leaves the door wide open to lying to you the rest of the time.

2. You’ve Got to Believe Me

People who are insecure tend to be desperate to be believed, especially when they’re actually being honest. That means that most of the time they are probably not being honest.

Marty McFly, in Back to the Future, is a good kid, but he’s in way over his head when he finds himself stranded in 1955. Doc Brown is his only hope, so he pleads with him for help, even resorting to the use of the words, “You’ve got to believe me.” Doc thinks Marty is playing a practical joke on him for a while. Thankfully, the truth is finally revealed to be on Marty’s side in the end. But it’s best not to tell someone what they have to do. That’s a pretty desperate move that can backfire.

3. To Be Perfectly Honest with You

In The Graduate, Benjamin Braddock tells his parents the good news that he’s getting married to a nice girl. Then, over the course of a minute, he reveals that she doesn’t know about their engagement and, to be perfectly honest with them, she doesn’t even like him. At least he’s honest about his delusional dishonesty.

4. I Swear

You should never trust anything a character says in The Godfather. They’re just about all professional liars. And it’s definitely serious when a character starts a lie with the words, “I swear.” In ancient times, swearing was reserved for solemn pledges that could not be broken on pains of death. In modern times, it’s used rather flippantly and as a means of deceiving people more often than not.

Sure, Don Vito Corleone himself doesn’t break the peace with the other Mob bosses. But he orchestrates it and sets everything up perfectly for his son Michael Corleone to give the actual order. Vito is still a liar in my book.

5. You Don’t Trust Me

Some lies are white lies. They’re meant to save face or spare someone’s feelings. Police officer Martin Riggs engages in these kinds of white lies after a pleasant meal with his new partner’s family in Lethal Weapon. The two cops are able to speak civilly to each other while also seeing through their lies.

It’s refreshing when they start speaking the truth, beginning with Briggs explicitly calling out the fact that Roger Murtaugh doesn’t trust him. Their frankness shows that they don’t have to say white lies to work together effectively. In fact, it’s better when they speak the truth.

6. I’m Going to Be Honest with You

Much like “I’m not gonna lie to you,” “I’m going to be honest with you” is seemingly designed to put the listener at ease. But all it does is plant the seeds of doubt in everything the speaker has said in the past and will say in the future.

In The Matrix, it’s ironic that Agent Smith would open up to Morpheus about his true feelings about humanity and the Matrix itself. Because the Matrix is all about deception and getting people to believe lies. And Agent Smith is part of that system, so why should Morpheus believe that he’s anything other than a deceiver? Beware anyone who says, “I’m going to be honest with you,” because they’ve likely not been totally honest in the past.

7. Honestly

“Honestly” isn’t a word that comes to mind to most honest people. That’s because it just comes naturally to them. They live it, so they don’t have to say it. Just like we don’t think about breathing most of the time, so we wouldn’t need to tell someone, “My lungs are full of air right now.” You might be saying something true, but the fact that you need to say it at all speaks to your frame of mind.

Take Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. He is an honestly dishonest man, so much so that no one can tell his true intentions as he’s so good at spinning tall tales to both friend and foe. In one of his most famous speeches, he reveals that he’s not to be trusted, most especially by the man he’s sworn to kill. Of course he’s going to betray people while smiling and explaining the difference between an honest and dishonest man.

8. How Dare You

When someone takes umbrage at an assertion, that may indicate that they’re in the wrong. It might strike a nerve. If a person is not guilty of a claim, they will feel at peace in their heart, even if they must still defend themselves with strong words. But “How dare you” implies weakness and fear because it attacks the accuser’s character rather than the accusation itself.

Through the magic of time travel in Star Trek: First Contact, Captain Jean-Luc Picard meets an ancient civilian named Lily and gets called out on his lies. She may not be from his century, but she knows human nature. When she exclaims that Picard got a thrill out of murdering someone because it gave him a bit of revenge, he quietly retorts, “How dare you.” In that moment, he’s afraid of her because he knows she’s right. She eventually gets him to admit his true intentions, but from the moment he uttered those three words, he already gave away everything.

9. Don’t Be Silly, Trust Me

Downplaying someone’s misgivings while simultaneously demanding their trust is a big red flag. In The Last Starfighter, Centauri is a con man who accidentally saves the universe while trying to make a buck. His intentions aren’t exactly honorable, particularly when he laughs off Alex Rogan’s legitimate fears about being killed right before being completely contradicted by a menacing message from Xur. Despite his many lies, everything turns out all right. Just be careful of his third rule to live by, “Always trust Centauri.”

10. You Have Nothing to Worry About

Like Centauri, Ferris Bueller is a con man who can get conned himself. In Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, when he goes to Chicago to spend a day playing hooky with his high school friends, he needs to find a safe place to park his best friend’s classic car. Unfortunately, the first valet he finds looks to be of the seedier sort, even though he has a sultry voice and he utters pacifying words like, “You fellas have nothing to worry about. I’m a professional.”

He then proceeds to completely abuse the young people’s trust, taking the car out for a joyride. Again, everything turns out for the best. But I wouldn’t recommend trusting someone who claims you have nothing to worry about or you won’t regret a decision. Because you probably do and will.

Honest Talk

I’m not gonna lie, you have nothing to worry about if you don’t trust me, but you’ve got to believe me because I swear to be perfectly honest with you, and if you don’t think I’m going to be honest with you, then honestly how dare you; don’t be silly, trust me.

Now there’s a sentence you’re not likely to hear anytime soon. It reeks of desperation. The truth is that honest people don’t talk about being honest. They just do it. It’s kind of like how people who scream the loudest about being happy are usually miserable, while happy people just keep it to themselves or share it quietly with their loved ones.

If someone loudly proclaims that they need to be believed or that they’re being totally honest, that’s a good sign that the opposite is true. Or at least they’re hiding a major insecurity. That’s about all I have to say about this. Honest.

This is the Deja Reviewer bidding you farewell until we meet again.

All video clips are the copyright of their respective owners.

Want to Support the Deja Reviewer?

If you’d like to support the Deja Reviewer, please consider donating a few dollars to keep this site going strong. I’ll even send you an original joke if you do! Try it, and prepare to enjoy a good chuckle.

$5.00