Have you ever noticed something interesting about the way Phil Connors ends his two “perfect” days with Rita Hanson? He says nearly the same things, but he gets completely opposite results.

The first time Phil gets Rita to care about him, he does it by pure manipulation. He figures out all of her likes and dislikes, and then he acts like he has all the same ones. In the end, his selfishness drives her away. The last time Phil gets Rita to care about him, he does it by pure happenstance. He serves the needs of everyone in town, and then he acts surprised when they thank him in front of Rita. In the end, his selflessness wins her over.

Phil Says Three Things to Rita

The first time Phil gets Rita into his hotel room, he demands that she stay with him that night. It’s not enough to see each other tomorrow because he knows there is no tomorrow. Then he tells her, “I love you.”

When she expresses disbelief at those words because he doesn’t even know her, he offhandedly says, “Oh, I know you.” This clues her into the fact that the whole day has been one long setup. The conversation concludes with Rita slapping Phil and telling him, “That’s for making me care about you.”

So, the three things Phil says to Rita are: Stay, I love you, and I know you. Oh, and Rita says that Phil’s hotel room is lovely.

Phil Says Those Three Things Again

The last time Phil gets Rita into his hotel room, he begins by making a snow sculpture of her likeness and telling her, “I know your face so well I could have done it with my eyes closed.” After that, he says he doesn’t care about what happens tomorrow because he loves her.

Instead of bristling at Phil’s declaration of love, Rita says she’s happy, too. The next morning, Phil is astonished that Rita is still with him. He asks why she’s still here, and she says, “You said ‘stay,” so I stayed.” The conversation ends with them kissing and thinking about their future together.

The same three things show up in the opposite order: I know you, I love you, and stay. And Rita says that Phil’s snow sculpture of her is lovely. There’s nothing deep about that final bit; I just think it’s a cute detail.

What Does It Mean?

Is it a coincidence that Phil says basically the same things to Rita in two scenes and gets antipodal results? I don’t think so. I think the filmmakers were saying something by doing this.

The first time, Phil acted selfishly. He demanded that Rita stay with him for his own gratification. When she said she couldn’t stay with him, he professed his love for her and then said he knew all about her in a dismissive tone. That all seems out of order to me. When it comes to relationships, it’s important to get to know each other first. This knowledge of each other’s personalities can eventually bud into love and a desire to stay close together.

Phil realizes that he did things all wrong after he sees the futility of his situation. He can’t escape this time loop tying him to Groundhog Day, so he decides to make the best of it. He starts serving others and becoming the best version of himself.

Think about how differently he acts the second time. Even though he seems to have ignored Rita that whole day until the end, he was showing her that he knows her. She loves serving others, and he was just emulating her best qualities.

When he tells her, “I know your face so well I could have done it with my eyes closed,” he’s putting into words what he’s been saying by his actions throughout the day. Then he admits he’s happy because he loves her. She may not fully love him in return because she hasn’t gotten to know him yet, but she’s on that path. And she happily stays with him when he asks her to.

It’s amazing how doing things in the right order often gets the results we want. Imagine trying to read a book by starting at the last chapter and working your way backwards or taking a trigonometry test before mastering algebra. Whether we’re trying to Rita book or Phil our minds with new knowledge, it’s important to do first things first. That’s what I take from this fun little part of Groundhog Day.

This is the Deja Reviewer bidding you farewell until we meet again.

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