Prepare to meet a broken man who has been beaten down to the point of despair and whose cries of anguish and frustration are met with indifference. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a video quite so raw and heartbreaking as this one, and I felt compelled to talk about it for reasons I will discuss below. The video is nearly 27 minutes long, but it’s worth a watch because it’s like examining the shattered remains of a once-beautiful sculpture. You can see hints of nobility in his suffering.
I Was Almost Him
The reason I wanted to talk about this is because I can easily see myself in his shoes. I came close to ending up like him. I was a gawky kid, and I would push people away rather than trying to form relationships. When I did try, I was clumsy and usually failed. Thankfully, I came to the same realization as him 10 years before he did, so I was in my early 20s when I realized I needed to change for the better. I stopped brooding, and I got to work improving my social skills and making sure everyone around me knew how highly I thought of them. Before long, I met the woman who would become my wife, and we’ve been happily married for 10 years now.
There are definitely differences between this man and me. For instance, I am grateful that I wasn’t abused as a child like this man was. I have a mother and father who loved me and all of my brothers and sisters all through our tender years. I’m doing my best to pass along that same love to my own children. I’m blessed with great height, so I’ve never had to worry about that aspect of my appeal. And I’ve rarely felt entirely cut off from people because even in high school I challenged myself to compete in Cross Country and Track and Field in order to strengthen my body and create some friendships in the process. Even when it was hard to keep improving, I managed to push through the pain.
Everyone Needs Guidance
This man is expected to have a solid grasp on life because he’s reached a certain age and because he’s a white male. For anyone who doesn’t already know, being a man doesn’t automatically imbue one with the knowledge of how to act or how to be successful in life. Men and boys need just as much guidance as women to help them be productive and happy. So often I see the law of causality being twisted to the point that people mistakenly believe consequences are causes and vice versa. It’s not a man’s hard work that got him where he is; it’s just that his privileged place in society gave him all of the opportunities with no effort on his part. That is wrong. Just look at this man. He feels lost and hopeless at 31 years old because he wasn’t affirmed, loved, or guided in his formative years. This is the consequence of everyone in his life ignoring him and of him pushing potential friends away.
A Brave Man
Men aren’t supposed to vocalize their problems. I’m sure this man has been called all sorts of names and endured scathing insults for daring to air his grievances. There’s usually nothing to be gained by complaining, which is a big reason why most men refrain from doing it. No one really cares about their plight, so why bother? This man is so brave to put himself out there and defy conventions to be brutally honest. He doesn’t expect anyone to solve his problem. He knows that he’s at least partly to blame for how he has ended up. But he wants to shine a light on the fact that he is miserable, and he feels powerless to change his dreadful condition.
A Better Path
Loneliness can be painful. Social awkwardness exacerbates that pain. Everyone needs some form of social interaction and validation to keep them going. You, I, and this man need to know someone cares about us. I hope we’ll all be able to learn from his sad experience and not allow ourselves to think we’re above the fray and can learn to get along just fine in solitude. We can’t. I was convinced I would die alone after I finished college with practically no dating prospects. I decided I would live my life as this man has, focusing on my work, taking care of my body, and not getting too close to anyone. Thankfully, I found a much better path that has led to greater happiness than I ever found alone. I wish the same outcome on you and on this brave, broken man.
This is the Deja Reviewer bidding you farewell until we meet again.
The video is the copyright of its owner.
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One can only hope that something enriching and meaningful moves toward him.
It’s sad that there are so many labels attached to humans of all genders, when in fact it’s a miracle that our species exists at all. Cause and effect. That’s how and why we’re here. Any joy that comes our way is a bonus; it’s not guaranteed.
Joy to this man, and to you and yours.
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