Why Season 8 Is My Favorite of Mystery Science Theater 3000

Posted on May 7, 2024 by Robert Lockard, the Deja Reviewer

I strive to admit when I am wrong. A long time ago, I wrote an article about Mystery Science Theater 3000 in which I said that I didn’t like Pearl Forrester, Observer, and Professor Bobo. I preferred Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV’s Frank. However, over the years I’ve realized the brilliance of those three baddies that came to prominence starting in season 8, and I now think they’re all great.

Another funny thing happened as I rewatched season 8 of MST3K. I began to be awed by its overarching storyline. No other season of this TV show had such a sprawling, epic adventure like that one did. Even Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie didn’t feel as big and bold as that season. Of course, movies and TV shows are two different beasts. It’s just amazing to see what the folks at Best Brains managed to accomplish on a shoestring budget. Continue reading →

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I Painted a Picture

Posted on April 30, 2024 by Robert Lockard, the Deja Reviewer

I am no artist. Words are my brushstrokes, and a blank piece of paper is my canvas. Writing has always been my strength and drawing my weakness. So it’s a rare feat when I take the time to paint a picture.

Although I’m not very good at drawing, I do love wordplay. Thus, I was recently inspired to paint a joke I came up with years ago. And this is the result: Continue reading →

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6 Vehicles in Movies That Get Destroyed One Piece at a Time

Posted on April 23, 2024 by Robert Lockard, the Deja Reviewer

There are plenty of car crashes in action movies. But sometimes, like enjoying a sumptuous meal, movies take their time to destroy a car (or other type of vehicle) one piece at a time until they’re basically unusable. Here are six examples.

Half of these take place over many scenes, and the other half happen in a single scene. But in the end, a perfectly good mode of transportation looks ready for the trash heap. Let’s have a total blast watching these vehicles get totaled and blasted. Continue reading →

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Mary Poppins and Our Financial House of Cards

Posted on April 16, 2024 by Robert Lockard, the Deja Reviewer

Two financial topics in a row? I promise I’m not going to only talk about money in all of my future articles, but debt and the banking world are weighing heavily on my mind at the moment, and I have significant things to share about them.

Mary Poppins’ Most Important Message

Mary Poppins is a great movie that includes many great messages:

  • Have fun while getting work done.
  • Pay attention to the poor and downtrodden in society.
  • Childhood doesn’t last forever.
  • Fathers are crucial to their children’s development.
  • And strong banks are not the foundation of a strong society.

That last one is the most important message in Mary Poppins. It also begs the question: what is the foundation of a strong society? We will get to that soon enough. Spit spot. Continue reading →

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Why I Don’t Use Any Form of Credit Anymore

Posted on April 9, 2024 by Robert Lockard, the Deja Reviewer

There is a famous scene at the end of WarGames, which just so happens to be one of my favorite movies. A computer program named Joshua has finally figured out that there is no scenario in which any country can win a global thermonuclear war. Every time it runs a simulation involving nukes, the only result is unimaginable suffering and a stalemate, like a horrifying game of Tic-Tac-Toe.

This leads Joshua to utter the famous words, “A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.”

This lesson can be applied in many ways. I will liken it to our financial system. Continue reading →

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The Difference Between Old and New Movies Is a Slap in the Face

Posted on April 2, 2024 by Robert Lockard, the Deja Reviewer

Something interesting happened when I recently rewatched The Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. I hadn’t seen that movie in years, so I had forgotten many of the finer details in it. This especially became apparent when the heroine Elizabeth Swann was brought aboard the Black Pearl for the first time.

Up to this point in the film, she’s nearly drowned and had to be saved by Jack Sparrow, been chased and terrorized by two ghoulish pirates, and been forced to surrender herself at knifepoint. Basically, she’s not anything like what I’ve come to expect from modern heroines who seem designed to do everything by themselves rather than relying on a man for anything. Continue reading →

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Goldfinger Pulls Off a Spectacular Chiasmus for Bond, James Bond

Posted on March 26, 2024 by Robert Lockard, the Deja Reviewer

Goldfinger is an action-packed chiasmus.Bond, James Bond. Even the way he says his name is a chiasmus! So it’s fitting that we would find a chiastic structure in arguably the most-famous Bond movie of all time: Goldfinger. This was the third film in the series, and it cemented the character’s place in the upper echelons of cinematic history.

And now I’m going to immortalize it even more by showing that it follows a rich storytelling structure where every beat in the first half is repeated in the second half. And just wait until you see the turning point! It’s sheer brilliance.

Once again, I must acknowledge my reader Jordan for recommending this film for the Cinematic Chiasmus treatment. He’s been right about every film he’s recommended so far: Tron, Escape from New York, Dreamscape, Akira, Conan the Barbarian, and Scream. On with the show! Continue reading →

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Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom Gets Better Each Time I Watch It

Posted on March 19, 2024 by Robert Lockard, the Deja Reviewer

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom is one of those movies that has always left a special taste in my mouth. The first time I saw it, I was a kid. My parents bought a VHS copy, and they watched it to see if they would allow me to then view it. They didn’t find it too objectionable, though they did ask me to close my eyes during the Thugee ceremony.

I’d like to share how my perspective on this film has changed over the years as I saw it through the eyes of its three main characters. Continue reading →

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Serenity Is a Chiasmus That Misbehaves

Posted on March 12, 2024 by Robert Lockard, the Deja Reviewer

Okay, I lied. I didn’t think I would publish another Cinematic Chiasmus for a long time, but something happened this past week that forced my hand. I woke up at 1:00 a.m. on Tuesday, and I couldn’t fall back asleep. After sitting there in bed for a good hour, I figured I would make the most of my time. So I started mapping out the chiasmus of Serenity.

Serenity is a chiasmus that appropriately misbehaves.This is one Cinematic Chiasmus I didn’t want to write because I didn’t think it would work. But I felt an authoritative voice telling me to just do it. And since I had nowhere to be and nothing else to do at that moment, I took the advice. This proved to be an almost effortless chiasmus to put together. However, it did have a few moments that misbehaved until I figured out what was going on.

This is for all you Browncoats out there. You can’t stop the signal. Continue reading →

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A New Perspective on an Old Problem

Posted on March 5, 2024 by Robert Lockard, the Deja Reviewer

Last year, I wrote about some of the challenges I have faced since I paid off my mortgage in August 2022. I likened myself to Lightning McQueen at the start of Cars. For years I had put off major improvements to my home, such as reroofing, fixing old gutters, and replacing old appliances.

Paying off my mortgage didn’t make me rich. Over the past year and a half, I have had a number of expensive issues come up, and I began to worry that I was doing something wrong. I thought that I was doing a lot of things right, so why did things keep going wrong? Continue reading →

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