Joke of the Week: Bruce Wayne

Why is Bruce Wayne a recluse?

The answer is… Continue reading →

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12 Things The Amazing Spider-Man Did Better Than the Original Trilogy

When I saw Spider-Man for the first time nine years ago, one line really stuck out to me. The Green Goblin tells Spider-Man, “In spite of everything you’ve done for them, eventually they will hate you.” I couldn’t help thinking that he was referring to the audience members. Sure, we all liked the movie when it was new, but would we turn on it if they made even one bad sequel?

I don’t think people hate the Spider-Man series even though it ended on such a poor note with the third film. But it has been tainted. Spider-Man 3 emphasized the flaws in the first two films and left a sour taste in a lot of viewers’ mouths, mine included.

When The Amazing Spider-Man was first announced, I was skeptical. But as its release date got closer, I couldn’t help getting excited. I like superhero films, and I thought that this would be a great opportunity to start fresh, learn from the mistakes of the past, and reintroduce an iconic character in an innovative way. When I saw it last week, I learned that I was right on all three counts.

To me, The Amazing Spider-Man is on par with Spider-Man 2, which is the biggest compliment I can give to it because that is my favorite film in the series. So I’m going to share 12 things The Amazing Spider-Man did better than the films in the original Spider-Man trilogy. Let’s swing away! Continue reading →

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Joke of the Week: Cats

What are an outdoor cat’s two favorite letters?

The answer is… Continue reading →

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Out of Town at an Epic Family Reunion

Sorry, no article this week on account of a family reunion in Syracuse, Utah during the Independence Day week. Almost my entire family got together for this epic three-day event. There was a total of 36 people there, including my two parents, eight of their children, seven in-laws, and 19 grandchildren. We were just missing one of their daughters, two in-laws, and three grandchildren. Whew!

There was plenty of exciting drama, heartfelt hugs, makeups, and good old-fashioned fun. I’m all tuckered out after that. I even wrote a hilarious song for the event, but it’s so packed with family in-jokes I decided it wouldn’t make any sense to share it here. It’s a parody of the 1985 single We Built This City by Starship.

Lockard family reunion 2012

I’ll have another awesome movie article for you next week, though, so come back soon.

This is the Deja Reviewer bidding you farewell until we meet again.

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Joke of the Week: The Flintstones

Why was Betty from The Flintstones so depressed?

The answer is… Continue reading →

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Battle of the Message Movies: Mr. Holland’s Opus vs. Forrest Gump

I’d like to drastically switch gears in this article. Last week I had a lot of fun joking about Roland Emmerich, but in honor of the Fourth of July holiday, I would like to talk about America. Specifically about Hollywood’s take on American history.

In 1994, Forrest Gump became the year’s sleeper smash, out-grossing every other film, including The Lion King. What was the film’s secret? It struck a chord with millions of Baby Boomers because it both lionized and poked fun at their legacy. Wouldn’t you know it, the following year Hollywood tried to recreate Forrest Gump’s runaway success by producing the film Mr. Holland’s Opus.

At first glance, these two films might seem like they have nothing in common except that they take place in roughly the same era. But I’ll show you that they actually have quite a bit in common. Not enough for a full Movie Matchup, but enough to make a solid Battle of the Message Movies. So let’s begin. Continue reading →

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Joke of the Week: Spider-Man

If Peter Parker’s Aunt May got bitten by a radioactive spider, what would she become?

The answer is… Continue reading →

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Universal Soldier Is an Unwatchable Travesty (and 5 Other Reasons I Love Roland Emmerich)

Oh, Roland Emmerich. The much-maligned writer/director is so much better than his critics give him credit for. His successful career should give aspiring filmmakers hope that anyone can make it big in Hollywood. Seriously, the man tries so hard to create great entertainment, and he usually succeeds, but there’s never any subtext or deep meaning behind his movies. What you see is what you get, and that’s actually kind of refreshing.

As you can tell from the title of this article, I’m going to give a bit of a back-handed compliment to Emmerich. If you’re at all familiar with his filmography, you’re in for a treat. So sit back and enjoy some chuckles as we explore all the things that are profoundly wrong (and right) with Roland Emmerich.  Continue reading →

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Joke of the Week: Mind Reader

What did the mind reader say to start the bidding on a bag of French fries?

The answer is… Continue reading →

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Movie Matchups: Aliens (1986) vs. Alien (1979)

Poor James Cameron. He is a brilliant filmmaker, but he has only come up with a couple of original ideas. Take a look at his filmography: Terminator was allegedly inspired by a story by Harlan Ellison. Terminator 2 is just a copy of the first Terminator, albeit a much better version. True Lies is a remake of the French film La Totale. Titanic has the same story as Somewhere in Time. And do I even need to mention that Avatar is a blatant ripoff of every environmentalist movie ever made? The Abyss is the only original story I can think of that came from James Cameron’s imagination.

None of this is necessarily a bad thing. Cameron is great at turning other people’s stories into something spectacular. He adds little details and heart-pounding action sequences that pay homage to, and up the ante of, the preceding film. Case in point, Aliens. The sequel to 1979’s groundbreaking science-fiction horror film Alien, Aliens follows the same plotline, but it somehow turns into something with a completely different look and feel than the first film.

So let’s go where no one can hear you scream, and see how Aliens and Alien are hatched from the same egg. Continue reading →

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