Science fiction is a funny business. You want to have just enough scientific realism to be believable, but you don’t want to spend the whole film talking about hardware or the linguistics problems involved in human-alien communication.
Some movies manage to turn language barriers into a strength, like E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial and The Iron Giant, while others fail spectacularly, like Mac and Me and Battlefield Earth.
And then some movies throw caution to the wind and disregard the problem altogether. And I’m going to talk about 10 movies about aliens that don’t have any language barriers.
1. Dark City
Dark City is a majorly underrated gem that has somehow flown under the radar since its debut in 1998. The aliens in this film are very talkative creatures. Even when it would clearly be advantageous to speak to each other in another language when in the presence of their enemies, the aliens just speak in plain English, spelling out their plans and giving the humans a chance to thwart them. It could be that the human bodies they inhabit prevent them from speaking their true language, but the film never explicitly states this.
2. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Ever since I read the Infinity Gauntlet comic-book series back in the ‘90s, I have thought Silver Surfer was awesome. He’s definitely the most interesting character in this silly sequel to the boring 2005 iteration of Fantastic Four. Silver Surfer spends a lot of time zipping around the universe looking cool. And when he finally opens his mouth to speak, not only does he sound exactly like Morpheus from The Matrix, but Earthlings understand him just fine. Did you really expect a logical explanation for an alien speaking English from a comic-book movie? We’re just getting started with those, by the way.
3. Guardians of the Galaxy
Guardians of the Galaxy is the funniest space movie since Galaxy Quest. And I love that in a movie about intergalactic politics, it never gets bogged down with exposition. That’s because it focuses on the bare essentials of storytelling and then allows its characters to have a lot of fun in their interactions. They all speak English, which opens the floodgates for insults, jokes, and ‘80s pop-culture references galore. I know, someone is going to object by saying, “What about Groot?” so I’ll just nip that in the bud. Sure, Groot only speaks three words, but those words are in English, and his voice inflections and body language make it clear to his friends what he’s trying to say. So there.
4. Masters of the Universe
He-Man is so dang cool that when he accidentally lands on Earth and runs into a human, he doesn’t need to struggle to communicate his intentions to her. He just tells her to get out of the way so he can do battle with the forces of evil in spectacular fashion. Dolph Lundgren isn’t the most articulate English speaker, but it’s clear that he’s not speaking some alien language when he talks to Earthlings. It’s funny, I never thought of He-Man as an alien in the old cartoon show. But Masters of the Universe makes it clear that he and his friends are most definitely extraterrestrials.
5. Plan 9 from Outer Space
Oh yeah, I’m going to seriously discuss this hilariously bad movie. Give it some credit: The aliens may be totally incompetent at destroying the Earth, but they sure know how to engage in interesting philosophical debates. They even surprise humans by declaring that they believe in God. What other movie has presented the idea of aliens believing in the same Supreme Creator as the people of Earth? That’s a bold move. Especially for someone who just spouted off epically bad lines like, “All you of Earth are idiots!” and “You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! STUPID!”
6. Race to Witch Mountain
You might be wondering why I didn’t go with the classic 1975 film Escape to Witch Mountain. Well, that’s because in that film, they do briefly mention that aliens visited Earth and couldn’t speak our language at first, but they learned over time. But as far as I could tell there is no mention of any trouble communicating in this 2007 remake. I have to admit I find this movie strangely entertaining. It could be Dwayne Johnson’s earnest performance or the way the kids slowly act more human and bond with him. Whatever it is, Race to Witch Mountain speaks my language.
7. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
I never get tired of this movie. It’s so cheap and terrible that it actually achieves a kind of greatness. In this film’s warped reality, Martians exist and they speak English perfectly. You might think that it’s because some of their kids watch Earth’s television programs, but even Voldar (who hates anything related to Earth) has no problem speaking with Earthlings in English. In this case, I think it was pure laziness that led to the filmmakers’ decision not to make a big deal about language barriers.
8. Superman II
Superman has always been more of a fantasy character than a science-fiction one to me. I know, the first film starts out by stating, “This is no fantasy,” but I beg to differ. It’s the best kind of fantasy, blending realism with fantastic elements to create something resembling believability. In Superman II, when General Zod, Ursa, and Non show up and start terrorizing astronauts, police officers, and government officials, no one has trouble understanding the orders they give (except the Russian cosmonaut, but that’s Cold War politics for you). Sure, they don’t always get pronunciations right, like with “Houston.” But people sure do respond when Zod says, “Kneel.”
9. Teenagers from Outer Space
Am I reaching with this one? Maybe. But just because the only reason this movie is remembered is because it was riffed on an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 doesn’t mean that it’s any less of a film than the others on this list. Back in the ‘50s, some really annoying and trigger-happy alien teenagers land on Earth and start scaring and vaporizing people in suburbia. They may not know how to drive or get around town, but they definitely know how to read and speak English just fine. Somehow.
Is Thor a god or an alien? He comes from another world (sorry, realm) and he isn’t immortal, so that makes him an alien in my book. My favorite scenes in this film aren’t the big action sequences, but the moments when Thor just has quiet conversations with the human scientists Jane Foster and Erik Selvig. I like how he tries to explain things that look like magic and legends as science and history. Thor may get stripped of his superpowers for a time, but he definitely retains his mastery of the English language during his banishment to Earth.
Breaking Through Barriers
Not every movie needs to spend time worrying about plot holes or logistical problems, like how to deal with alien languages. Sometimes they just have a fun story to tell and they decide to tell it in the most straightforward way possible: In a language we can actually understand.
As a side note, I realize not everyone in the world speaks English, but this is Hollywood we’re talking about and these movies were all made in English. So let’s not quibble over semantics. After all, these movies clearly didn’t.
This is the Deja Reviewer bidding you farewell until we meet again.
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