I remember somehow watching Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead as a kid and actually enjoying it. I’m not sure if my mom even knew I saw it. It must have been the film’s final part that won me over because that’s when things finally start going right, and I like seeing goodness prevail.

However, I feel differently about the film now. I checked it out at the library last week to show my wife because I was oddly in the mood for it. I thought it would be a fun feel-good kind of experience to revisit. At least I hoped it would.

Now I owe my wife an apology because it turned out to be not a diamond in the rough but a polished turd.

The Ending

My main beef is with the film’s ending. And that used to be my favorite part. So this feels like a bit of a betrayal.

In order for a movie to work, a lot of things have to go right. In general, we have to like (or at least be intrigued by) the characters, they have to go through interesting challenges, and they have to emerge at the end changed by their experience. Not just that, but the ending has to feel honest and earned.

Unfortunately, Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead totally botches the last part. Sue Ellen is a 17-year-old girl who just graduated high school and wants to have a summer of fun before figuring out what to do with the rest of her life. However, she’s forced to get a job in the corporate world when her mother leaves the country for a long vacation and they run out of money after their babysitter suddenly dies of a heart attack. Along the way, she has to deal with her useless teenage brother and his obnoxious friends.

This movie is part Home Alone, part Big, and part Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

Unearned Rewards

Sue Ellen is likable and relatable most of the way through. She’s in over her head, and she struggles to keep up with a hectic world she’s not prepared for. But she actually does a pretty admirable job. However, she keeps wracking up lies and deceits along the way, and each time she almost gets exposed, her boss just lets it slide. She must be the most understanding boss of all time.

Following the same path that every comedy of errors must, this film includes a scene where the main character faces personal disgrace by having to publicly admit all of her wrongs and deceptions and then suffer the consequences. The only problem is that she suffers absolutely no negative consequences. If anything, she’s rewarded far beyond anything that could be expected.

She wins her mother’s respect, shapes her wild siblings into respectable models of goodness, saves her employer from financial ruin, exposes a serial cheater, wows her boss, soundly defeats her bully, and even gets back with her boyfriend after a painful breakup. Basically, she gets everything in one fell swoop to the point of absurdity. I get it that this is some sort of wish-fulfillment movie where the angsty teen somehow gets everything she wants. But this ending, while upbeat, isn’t satisfying.

That’s because, despite all the struggles Sue Ellen went through to make it to this point, it still doesn’t feel earned. Because in real life no one gets everything they want, especially when they went about getting those things in the wrong way. Sure, you could argue that she had to lie, cheat, sneak, and steal because she had no other choice. But all that means is that she has to pay the piper and learn her lesson that those things are bad. She has to fess up to her mistakes and face at least some punishment for them. At least she should have to return the expensive stuff her siblings bought with stolen money. Or she should be fired for lying about her age. Something. I don’t want her to suffer, but I can’t suspend my disbelief that she wouldn’t suffer any consequences for her actions. This kind of ending is too good to be true, destroying any believability the movie might have had.

Even if Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead had nailed its ending, I don’t think it would be all that great of a movie. But at least I could look back on it fondly and not be too embarrassed for having liked it once. As it is, it’s just sort of okay. Not too good or bad.

How to Do a Happy Ending

Crafting a great happy ending is hard to do. It needs to include realistic results of everything that came before, both good and bad.

If the filmmakers were inspired by Home Alone, they should have noticed that that film’s ending was tinged by a bit of realism and consequences for its main character Kevin. At the very end, his intimidating older brother interrupts all the joyful reunions to demand why his room is such a disaster. It’s a great callback, and it reminds us that Kevin isn’t getting off scot-free for all his shenanigans.

Sue Ellen should have been fired on the spot (a la What Women Want) and given a chance at redemption through a lot of hard work. There should have been a better explanation of the turnaround in her young siblings and why they’re going to improve moving forward (a la Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure). And most importantly, she shouldn’t have gotten the guy (a la Big) because he has a toxic sister and they’ve matured enough to recognize they’re just not compatible. There would still be enough sense of accomplishment that it would be a happy ending, but there would be a dose of realism mixed in to make it feel earned.

It all comes down to one thing, really. Don’t tell my mom I ever watched this movie.

This is the Deja Reviewer bidding you farewell until we meet again.

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