The Lighthearted Side of Braveheart

Posted on September 6, 2016 by Robert Lockard, the Deja Reviewer

You might accuse me of having a morbid sense of humor, but I can’t help chuckling a little at the funeral scene at the start of Braveheart. And I think you might just do the same thing after you see the meme I have created.

Young William Wallace has just seen his father and brother killed, and he thinks he is all alone in the world. And then after the ceremony is over, a little girl tugs on his shirt and silently hands him a thistle. It’s a touching exchange, and the characters do all the talking with their eyes. But I decided to add a few words of dialogue for her character during this dramatic moment. Continue reading →

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Tevye and Mr. Bennet Demonstrate Why Envying the Rich Is Foolish

Posted on August 31, 2016 by Robert Lockard, the Deja Reviewer

I compared Fiddler on the Roof and Pride and Prejudice a little while back, and I found them to be surprisingly similar in their stories and characters. Two characters, in particular, kept coming to my mind and I decided that they deserve special attention. The characters are the fathers of their respective families: Tevye and Mr. Bennet.

Tevye wishes he was rich. He spends so much time yearning for what he doesn’t have that he misses the fact that he is so happy simply being a poor milkman. Mr. Bennet has everything that Tevye dreams of. He is fabulously wealthy, he never has to work for his money, and he can live in comfort all his days. And yet he is hopelessly miserable. It turns out that Tevye would be better off where he is and he shouldn’t bother envying the rich because money wouldn’t solve his problems.

There’s a whole song dedicated to Tevye’s wish to be wealthy, “If I Were a Rich Man.” And I’m going to go through it basically line by line and show how everything Tevye wants, Mr. Bennet has received and it hasn’t made him happy at all. At the start, Tevye asks “What would have been so terrible if I had a small fortune?” I’m here to explain exactly how terrible it would have been.

And there might just be a lesson in this for all of us.

I’ll share the lyrics of the song in italics and then give my commentary on each verse beneath them. Continue reading →

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10 Reasons to Love Marc McClure in 1977’s The Phone Call

Posted on August 23, 2016 by Robert Lockard, the Deja Reviewer

Did you know that one year before playing Jimmy Olsen in 1978’s Superman: The Movie, Marc McClure appeared in a little short film called The Phone Call? It was produced by my alma mater, Brigham Young University, so it has a special place in my heart.

The Phone Call tells the story of an awkward teenager who has to work hard to overcome his insecurities and ask a cute girl out on a date. There are a lot of reasons to love this little 24-minute film – and Marc McClure’s lovable Scott character, in particular. And I’m going to share 10 of them. Continue reading →

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Movies with ‘The Movie’ in the Title

Posted on August 16, 2016 by Robert Lockard, the Deja Reviewer

It seems almost passé to include “The Movie” in a movie title. We all know that you’re making a movie. You don’t need to literally spell it out for us. But some movies over the years have seen it necessary to do so. And we’re going to explore why certain movies have or have not used “The Movie” in their titles.

And at the end I’ll share two final example of films from the same series that helped me form a theory about why “The Movie” is no longer necessary. Let’s get this “The Movie” discussion in motion! Continue reading →

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2 Absent Friends

Posted on August 9, 2016 by Robert Lockard, the Deja Reviewer

I watched Star Trek Beyond last week, and I was shocked at how much I enjoyed it. It’s just a great adventure film, punctuated by a particularly moving birthday party for Kirk at the end. I’m sure many other people have discussed how Kirk’s words “To absent friends” mirror his statement in Star Trek III: The Search for Spock. It’s touching to see Kirk reminisce about the father he lost the day he was born. And it’s even more poignant when you consider that Star Trek Beyond is dedicated to the memory of the two members of the old and new Star Trek casts (Leonard Nimoy and Anton Yelchin) who lost their lives between the last film’s release and this one’s.

I know the filmmakers didn’t intend to be quite so literal in their choice of words, but I can’t help hearing Kirk’s statement as, “Two absent friends.” I’ll probably always hear it that way as I rewatch the film in the coming years. That’s all I want to share about the sad loss of these two fine actors. May they live long and prosper in the undiscovered country beyond the veil.

May the old and young actors who played Mr. Spock and Chekov live long and prosper beyond the veil

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Return of the Jedi Demonstrates How Loving Your Enemies Wins Over Hating Them

Posted on August 2, 2016 by Robert Lockard, the Deja Reviewer

In Matthew 5:43-44, during the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus imparts this timeless pearl of wisdom:

“Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.”

It turns out these words aren’t just applicable to our day and age, but also to a galaxy far, far away. You see, Return of the Jedi dramatizes these verses of scripture beautifully through Luke Skywalker’s love for his father, who is seemingly the most evil man in the galaxy. But Luke looks for the good in him and he finds it by being willing to sacrifice his life rather than give in to his anger. Continue reading →

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A Walk to Remember Offers Hope to Bullied and Bullies Alike

Posted on July 26, 2016 by Robert Lockard, the Deja Reviewer

I want to share something near and dear to my heart this week. When I was a kid growing up in Washington state, I was very socially awkward and some of my classmates made fun of me mercilessly. Mocks became so commonplace to me that I just came to accept them as the background noise of my life. Sick days were a blessing to me. I tried to fight back and then just to ignore the torrent of teasing, but neither one of those strategies made life bearable. Finally, when I got to 6th grade I couldn’t stand to go on. I decided to change my whole way of approaching people. I returned their taunts with compliments. When other kids hated me, I loved them back. At first, my bullies treated me with even more disdain. But over time they realized I meant it. I didn’t hate them for what they were doing to me. And I think they started to feel a little tugging at their hearts and they realized that what they were doing was wrong, without me having to call their attention to it.

Years later, right after I turned 21, I met one of my former tormentors – at my local church. He hadn’t been a member of my church when I had known him, but he had discovered it in the ensuing years and he had been converted and was now a completely new man. He had no trace of malice or flippancy in his face. He soberly approached me after I gave a talk in church, and he asked my forgiveness. Of course I forgave him, and I told him it was all water under the bridge. I assured him that we had just been silly kids doing what kids do. I was glad to see him enjoying so much happiness in his life. That’s all I want for everyone I meet. I want everyone to be happy.

These memories came flooding back recently when my wife shared a film with me that I had almost completely forgotten: 2002’s A Walk to Remember. The first time I watched that movie was not long after the encounter with my bully-turned-buddy. Seeing it again more than a decade later was an awesome experience. Continue reading →

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Why The Starfighters Is the Best Film MST3K Ever Riffed

Posted on July 19, 2016 by Robert Lockard, the Deja Reviewer

The Starfighters is the most perfect movie ever to appear on Mystery Science Theater 3000. It debuted during the show’s magical sixth season – after Joel Robinson had escaped the Satellite of Love, but before TV’s Frank or Dr. Forrester kicked the bucket. The good folks at MST3K had quite a lot of courage to take on a film like this, which is devoid of seemingly anything funny. But their risk paid off handsomely and it turned into the most entertaining episode the show ever produced.

Sure, The Wild World of Batwoman is pure insanity, Manos: The Hands of Fate is a living nightmare, Mitchell features the laziest cop in the world, Space Mutiny makes a mockery of space operas, and Time Chasers basks in its low-budget scrappiness. But The Starfighters has one thing that all of those and every other film featured on MST3K does not have: Nothing! Absolutely nothing happens in The Starfighters, and it’s a terrifying beauty to behold when you realize the whole movie contains neither gripping drama nor action nor comedy nor even filler. It’s like looking at the clear blue sky for an hour and a half, and yet its sheer nonexistence is its greatest charm.

This should be a really short article. Just watch the Starfighters MST3K episode right now. It’s perfect, and I think you’ll agree it’s simply the best: Continue reading →

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My Book Is Finally Ready

Posted on July 12, 2016 by Robert Lockard, the Deja Reviewer

I am filled with joy and anticipation. Six years ago I came up with my first joke. Do you want to hear it? Okay, here goes:

What did the plumber say to his customer when he walked up to their kitchen sink?

“I’m at your disposal.” Continue reading →

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Movie Matchups: Star Trek V: The Final Frontier vs. Ghostbusters (1984)

Posted on July 5, 2016 by Robert Lockard, the Deja Reviewer

I’m always on the lookout for seemingly disparate movies that have a lot in common. And I recently noticed that Star Trek V: The Final Frontier has many nearly identical setups as 1984’s Ghostbusters. I’m not saying that the makers of Star Trek V set out to rip off Ghostbusters or even pay homage to it. They simply made a lot of creative choices that went down a similar path as Ghostbusters, and they’re quite remarkable once you see them.

So let’s match up each of the scenes and ideas these two films have in common and see what they did with them. Continue reading →

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